The new Pope has not yet been elected, but it’s not difficult to forsee how it will be played out in the media. As soon as the name is announced (“Habemus papam!”) the dialogue will go something like this:
OB correspondent (shouting): Well, there you have it, Hugh: a controversial choice! Cardinal X has been mentioned as a possibility, but few commentators would have put money on him…
Newscaster in studio (shouting): Would it be fairer to say, Robert, a shock result? Let me turn to Professor Drone, a specialist in Vatican matters. Professor Drone, rather a surprising choice, wouldn’t you say…
Professor: Not at all, I predicted that Cardinal X would be able to garner enough votes from his fellow cardinals…
Newscaster: Let me interrupt you for a moment, we’re going live to the country where Cardinal X has been a prominent figure for the last x years: clearly a lot of jubilation…everyone out in the streets…a lot of pride…
Reveller (shouting): You know, this is not only the greatest event ever but a real triumph for our country…
Monsignor Y (smoothly): The whole world will welcome the news that we have a Holy Father again. Cardinal X is of course the perfect choice: a man of towering intellect but also deep spirituality who will know how to knit together the divisions which afflict the church… speaks seven languages… the first pope to have a pilot’s licence…
OB correspondent: We have to remember, Hugh, that Cardinal X has a reputation as something of a hardline conservative…
Professor: As I predicted, the conclave has gone for a pope very much on the liberal wing of the church…
Newscaster: A surprising choice of name, wouldn’t you say? Innocent XIV? There hasn’t been a Pope Innocent since (glances at notes) 1724! What does that mean? Are we read into it a sign that the abuse scandal can now be left to rest?Let’s talk now to Sister Grim…
Sister Grim: As far as most nuns are concerned, this is not a welcome choice. Cardinal X has repeatedly shown that he does not have anything to say about the many challenges facing the religious orders, such as…
And so on and so forth. In the midst of it all, a man suddenly feeling very much alone. Habemus papam.